The really bad parenting day

As a mom, I frequently second guess myself regarding the job I do as a parent. I think we all do-- if we didn't, how could we ever improve? Today, however, I am pretty sure that I don't need to question myself. I did a crappy job all around.

First off, I dropped off Jacob at school. (He's not taking the bus this year because the schedule changed and I don't like it). His school has this poorly designed dropoff/pickup area in which millions of cars snake through one small parking lot to drop off their precious snowflakes. The morning dropoff is bad, but the afternoon pickup is a nightmare (we will return to this.) They have teachers standing on the sidewalk waiting to help the kids out of the cars. As I pulled up to the next available teacher, Jacob opens the door while the car is still moving. Instinctively, I grabbed him by the backpack and yanked him back before he could fall out of the car. I yanked pretty hard, and he fell backwards onto the seat. I was also yelling at him for opening the door before the ride came to a complete stop. And as I'm yelling and yanking, of course the teacher opens the door and I looked like a total stooge. Strike one.

A little later, I took the kids to the library under the assumption that there was storytime today (there was not). When we walked in, the girls immediately ran over to the baskets of board books and stuffed animals. They grabbed some and sat really nicely at one of the little tables in the children's section and started reading to each other. They are NEVER so pleasant and so I took advantage of a few minutes of peace to run over to the fiction section and grab some books. I could still see them clearly, since the library is teeny tiny. I took a luxurious few minutes to pick out a book, then checked on them (still sitting at their table nicely) and then picked out a second book. I walked back over to the children's section, where they were now seated at the next table over with a little kid (boy? girl? I couldn't tell) and its mother, who was reading to all of them. I smiled pleasantly and made some comment about how they love stories and don't have a problem butting in to other people's business (but I said it nicer). She looked at me and said, "oh, it's ok. I invited them over because they were alone." She said it very nicely, not malicious or accusing or anything, and I don't even think she meant anything by it. Still, I felt like a dirtbag for picking out books for my own enjoyment instead of being interactive with my kids. Sigh. Strike two.

So, time to pick up Jacob from school. It's only the fourth day, so I'm still trying to work out the timing of when I need to get there and not get stuck in the ridiculously long line of cars, but not so early that I sit there for an hour waiting. In this poorly designed pick-up scenario, there's one line that creeps along the sidewalk and is meant for parents picking up older kids that can run out to the car alone. I have to get out of the car and sign for my kid, so I have to be able to park my car. The line creeping into the miniature parking lot is a different one, but I somehow got all confused and got into the wrong line. However, by the time I realized this I was trapped in the big kid line and couldn't sneak out to the other one, though by then there was not a parking spot for three blocks around. I sat there and panicked for awhile, but then I saw Jacob's teacher bring out the students. Now, this line of cars had not moved one inch in at least 15 minutes and I was about three cars back from the place where Jacob actually was. I thought if I just hopped out of the car, grabbed him and signed, and dashed back to the car it probably wouldn't move in that time either. So that's what I did, and although it took a few minutes longer than I thought it would I could see the car plainly from where I was, could see that the line was still not moving, and had even left it running with the AC on because it was so hot out. Then it was my turn to sign out my kid and I had to turn my back for a minute. In this tiny bit of time, of course the line of cars started moving and I was blocking it. Crap. So I bolt back to the car and get Jacob in, and climb in myself... only to realize that the irate people behind me were now trying to get around me and blocking me from even creeping forward in the line of cars (and who could blame them?) As I tried to look straight ahead and not notice the dirty looks of the people in the car next to me, I noticed a note under my wiper. This is what it said (roughly): "This is a NO PARKING!!! And you should NEVER leave kids in the car, even when it's running! Read the handbook!!" Oy. Where to start? I knew it was no parking, but I was stuck and I had to get my kid. As for leaving the other kids in the car, I would have blocked traffic for a heck of a lot longer if I had to get three kids out and then back into their carseats. Plus I was no more than thirty feet away-- it's not like I had to go into the school or anything. And finally, what handbook? A school handbook? I didn't get one of those. A parenting handbook? I certainly didn't get anything like that. Again I felt like a big douchebag, and while normally I would get annoyed at someone leaving me parenting tips on my windshield I deserved to be chewed out so I just sat there feeling very small. Strike three.

I should have been out right there. Should have given up, not done anything else the rest of the day. Oh, if only there was that option...

Upon returning home, Norah (who has been extremely naughty lately) played her new fun game, which is to not get out of the car but instead run into the front or back seat and refuse to listen to me. We've been playing this game every single car trip for the last week, so I did my usual threat of "I'm going to leave you in here". Usually this does not work. Yesterday I left her in the car and went into the house, thinking that when the garage light went off and she was sitting in the dark she would want to come in the house. Instead, I opened the door to see her sitting in the driver's seat waving at me. Ok, so I'm feeling stressed, and I've got my hands full answering Jacob's ten zillion questions and trying to figure out what he meant when he kept telling me he wanted to be a "science test" when he grew up. (Scientist, I finally realized). I'm trying to unbuckle Wyatt and carry him into the house, and he was fussing so I didn't have the oomph to also try and grab Norah at that point. I told her I was going to leave her in there and she just smiled, so I closed the car door and went into the house. I sat down to feed Wyatt and immediately forgot about her out there in the dark, hot car. For about 30 minutes. Suddenly I realized there was someone missing and pretty much flung Wyatt down and ran to the car, where she was hysterically sobbing and soaking wet with sweat. She was quite happy to see me and willingly went into the house, though she had involuntary hiccupy sobs for the next twenty minutes or so.

FAIL.

I would also like to mention that because this is my world, Dexter also peed all the way across the living room carpet again and I had to steam clean this afternoon. Also, after dinner the garbage disposal clogged and I had to stand on a chair and plunge while dirty foodwater spurted out the other side and hit me in the face.