Terrorist Bitches

It's 3am, and I can't sleep. Stupid nap. So I hop online, and start reading the news, and all I see is this latest foiled terrorist plot involving liquid whatever being smuggled onto planes. I know it is very self centered to automatically think of nothing but how this affects me. However, I am a very self centered person and if you don't like it you can just hit your back button now because that's why I'm complaining. It's because I will now have to arrive at the airport at 3:30am for a 6:30 am flight. It's because I am going to be hassled once I get there and I try to take juice in a sippy cup for my kid. I won't even dream of trying to bring bottled breast milk for the other one, so congrats to the lucky dog sitting next to me as I whip out my basoomas on the plane. Airports have already made travelling with small children as inconvenient as possible, and now these moron Pakistani thugs have gone and made it worse. I would like to find out who dreamed up this operation and punch that bitch in the face. Actually I want Tom to punch him in the face because he has a meatier fist and more muscle, but once he hits the floor I'll definitely give him a kick in the kidney. I will give him one kick for every person that had to throw out their suntan lotion or taste their own breastmilk because he was on a mission from Allah to wipe out the infidel.

What sucks is that I don't have a choice in regard to travel. It's a three day drive, and even if that was feasible I couldn't afford it because I would have to go out and sell myself at the corner of Taquito and Refried Bean to pay for the gas it would take to get home. Why? Because our blessed government has not only made us dependent on countries who hate us, but has gone the extra step and declared war on them. Here's the thing (if I may rant for a moment). We have sunk so much money and so many resources into a war that is unneccesary and unwinnable that when actual threats arise, such as in Iran and North Korea, we are stretching ourselves so thin that we can't possibly hold up all these foreign fronts and still cope with the unpreventable disasters in our own country needing attention. So while the President continues to set the stage for World War III despite approval ratings that even that doofus has to realize are low, we will all continue to pay taxes that will be thrown in the crapper, pay 30% more for gas while oil companies make 30% more profit, and have to hear about freakin Katrina until we die. And, of course, take off our shoes at the airport, hoping that we're not randomly selected for the cavity search. I blame George Bush as much as the terrorists, because maybe if he had declared war on the right country in the first place we would have killed them instead of just pissing them off. Like bees, only with turbans.

Now maybe I can sleep.