Pt I: More Conversations with Jacob
Driving home in the rain...
"Mama, what are those?"
"What are what?"
"Those things on the window."
"Windshield wipers?"
"Yeah, windshield wipers. What do they do?"
"They wipe the rain off the window." (At this point, I'm feeling ashamed that my four-year-old has no idea what windshield wipers are, having lived in the desert most of his life.)
"It's raining."
"Yes, I know."
"It's raining into my chimney."
"Our house doesn't have a chimney."
"Yes it does, on the roof."
"No, it doesn't. But our new house has a chimney."
"NOOOOO!!!" (Sometimes the 'new house' idea causes a mini-meltdown. I let it go at that point.)
"Fine. When we pull up to the house you can show me where the chimney on our house is."
"Mama, I can't get up on the roof. That's dangerous for kids!"
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
"Can I get a raincoat?"
"If I see one, I will get you one." (Keeping in mind they don't sell them for a five hundred mile radius, I felt safe in this promise.)
"I need rain boots too. I don't want my undies to get wet. That would be terrible."
Pt II: Cable TV
We unhooked our TV about a year and a half ago. We've been living on movies and Netflix since then, and I haven't felt in the least bit bad about missing out on broadcast television. But when the Olympics came on, I wanted to hook up the TV again so I could watch. Of course, I could have watched it online, but I also was having a feeling that if I had to watch one more episode of Scooby Doo, I would melt down into a little phantom puddle. So we hooked up the TV.
We also came to an agreement with our internet provider, after months and months of terrible service, that they would fix our internet by giving us free cable (I didn't ask, and you shouldn't either. It works for me.) However, I really didn't want to go back to the world of cable in which I veg out for hours in front of VH1 'Surreal Life' marathons or fold laundry in front of a two hour 'True Hollywood Story' about Paula Abdul. So when we hooked up the TV, we went through all the channels and unprogrammed most of the worthless ones. I didn't need VH1, MTV, E!, or fifteen news channels. Having a horror of Lifetime and Oxygen, those were out too. We kept what we considered the 'good' channels-- Food Network, National Geographic, TMC, A&E, and several others that I could have done without but Tom said he wanted (anything that plays Star Trek was a keeper.)
And now, after 18 months of no TV and about four years without cable, I am back to a channel surfing loser. (Not that you are a loser for being a normal person, I just feel a sense of relapse or something.) I am addicted to the Dog Whisperer, and I have a strange desire to keep watching Gene Simmons' Family Jewels. (I don't want to be gross here but Nick Simmons is kind of hot.) I'm staying up way too late to see if Ace of Cakes comes on again, or to see what the next TCM movie has Cary Grant in it. I get way too excited when I see that How It's Made is on, and I keep watching Dirty Jobs even though sometimes it makes me a little nauseated. And so, in this small way, I have abandoned my idealistic TV-less lifestyle to see if I can catch It's Me or the Dog. On the plus side, we have two PBS stations and the kids are enjoying Sesame Street and Word World... and like five hours a day of other educational programming. Oh well, school starts next week, in a month or two we'll be moving, and my brief but tawdry affair with cable will again come to an end. In the meantime, I have to see if I can catch some Cosby Show or George Lopez... see you later.
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