The Tattle Twins and that dinosaur from Jurassic Park

The Tattle Twins:

Every day, all day, they tattle on each other. Brynn and Jacob torture each other until someone cries, and then I hear about it. "Mama, Bean bit me", "Mama, Dapah (that's Jacob) push meeee", "Mama, Bean touched my rat" "Mama, Dapah push meeee", "Mama, Bean looked out my window", "Mama, Dapah push meeee". ALL DAY LONG. Brynn is actually a worse offender than Jacob. Jacob usually has a reason for tattling, because I think Bean does bite him, and take his toys. She's mean. But Brynn makes stuff up. She'll spontaneously tattle about something Jacob or the dog did when they're not even there. The dog will be out in the yard, and I'll hear from the bedroom, "Mama, Dexter bite meeee". There have even been at least two instances where she's woken up in the middle of the night and wandered in to tattle about something Jacob or Dexter allegedly did. She would be a problem all by herself, but throw in Jake and his tattling, plus the fighting that causes the tattling... chaos. Pure chaos.

The Dinosaur from Jurassic Park:

Remember in the movie when Newman steals the embyos and gets in the Jeep to escape, but then gets stuck? He gets out of the car and when he gets back in there's that cute little dinosaur sitting on the seat. It makes some cute faces, you think, aw, that might be a nice little pet. Then bam! The thing lets out a terrifying shriek and spits in his face, blinding him.

I'm pretty sure Norah has not seen Jurassic Park, which makes her imitation of this dinosaur all the more uncanny. She sits in your lap, crawls up to you, sits next to you, what have you. She's delighted to have the attention, and she's just so darn cute you have to give it to her. She gets very excited, and lets out a shriek of delight that is quite loud, to say the least. And then --pffft-- she spits in your face. It's her newest trick, and it's really gross. She is spitting all the time. It seems to be the primary way for her to express joy, aside from the shrieking. The problem is, when she is joyful it's usually because you're very close to her, or feeding her. When she wakes up in the morning, she is very excited to be there next to me, so she manuevers her way up onto my pillow to be as close as possible as she spits directly into my face. Norah is so loveable though, what am I supposed to do? I'm such a pushover for that baby.

Definitions by Jake:

"Goosebugs": What you might get on your arms when you're cold. They are definitely not goosebumps, I asked him. Definitely goosebugs.

"Peebody": The place where the pee comes out of his body. I overheard him explaining it to Brynn one day in the bathroom. Unfortuately, Brynn does not seem to understand that she does not have a peebody and therefore should NOT stand up to pee.

"Acock": This one was truly a puzzler, because he asked me at lunch one day, "Mama, do you know about acocks?" I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out what on earth he was asking me, or what his father was letting him watch on TV, and finally gave up. A couple of days later, he was watching a show on PBS kids and shouted, "Mama, it's the acock! Look!" He was actually talking about a macaw. It was an interesting mystery while it lasted, though.

Stay tuned for "Definitions by Bean". It really gets weird there.