Is it just me, or is it 1985?

I've been noticing lately that the terrifying world of 80s fashion seems to be creeping back. I first noticed this when I went shopping for girl clothes a few months ago. I was appalled by rows and rows of clothes that looked like the things my mother stuffed me in back in the early 80s (no offense Mom, I know you thought they were cute...) Corduroy jumpers and dresses in barfy colors, grody turtlenecks (why won't they die?), and overall just a general sense of wondering if instead of a department store I'd wandered into a Savers vintage collection showcase.

I kind of didn't think about it much after that, since I'm what you might call "out of the loop". I myself am not high fashion, not that you needed me to tell you that, and while my kids are dressed nicer than I am they're not exactly Pottery Barn preppy.

Then on New Year's I watched Dick Clark's Rockin' whatever it is, like I do every year I'm actually awake. (Does anyone else always think about the Ross and Monica dance when they watch that?) Again, I'm "out of the loop" when it comes to music as well as fashion. I have a tendency to listen mainly to music produced before about 2001. So these newfangled singers and whatnot were unfamiliar to me-- but their clothes were familiar. The group that stands out most in my mind was some people called the "Jonas Brothers", which to my elderly understanding are like a modern day Hanson. Anyway, I spent their whole performance cringing at their terrible music and also wondering why they were up there dressed like Depeche Mode. Fedora hats, tweed houndstooth coats, skinny ties, and bad bad hair. Well, the main Jonas guy had that emo-ish looking hair I see on the youths these days, but even that reminds me of the scary androgynous years.

Then I noticed that everyone was wearing skinny ties and had bad hair. There were also some really poofy looking dresses, and someone was even wearing shoulderpads. And it occurred to me that I've been seeing an awful lot of skinny pants on the lady folk lately. Leggings seem to be getting more frequent too. Where does it end? Pinning pants? Little zippers on the back of the legs? Acidwash? Members Only jackets? Jellies? T-SHIRT CLIPS?

This cannot be allowed. Seriously, the 80s was not a high point in fashion history. There are certain eras that need not be revived, and I'm pretty sure the years 1977-1992 (approximately) fall in that category. So would the Elizabethan era of dress, but everyone has had the common sense not to revive ruffs and breeches. Where is the common sense now?

Stop the madness! Don't buy those tight pants and leggings! Next it'll be neon legwarmers and the world will collapse in on itself!

(Big hair is ok. It doesn't seem to be taking off as quickly as the skinny tie, but I'll start teasing my hair as soon as you do.)